Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My Demands

So I'm watching Chelsea Lately (I dvr every episode because I just can't make it till 11pm) and she is talking about Rhiana's list of demands when she goes to a concert.

This made me start thinking about the things I would demand if I was able to.

Kettle One
Spring Water (NOT Zephyer Hills or Evian)
Rice Cakes: lightly salted only
Turkey breast meat
weight watchers ice cream treats
An hd tv (no smaller than 26") that comes with a dvd player (blu ray preferred) and every season of sex and the city, the office, and Americas next top model.
A masseuse
I will refuse to preform if I hear music from any era other than the 40's-50's

Of course I have no idea what I am preforming. I'd say stand up, but I only have 6 friends who think I would be good at that, and even then I think they're just humoring me because they know I'm not writing that book. I keep meaning to, but it's been nice out and I just want to read by the pool! Actually this past weekend, stand up got brought up and the reaction of one of my friends was priceless- "Youre funny?"

Guess not.

Anyway, I was looking at the census this morning, only because I got -ANOTHER- annoying letter (probably paid for with my parents tax dollars) reminding me to do it. I need to see where my national and state constitutions say I have to give the federal government my phone number and what my relationship is to person one. I feel I'm being very kind even giving them my sex. For race I put other: AMERICAN. Why they need all of this information on my Hispanic heritage (or lack thereof) is beyond me, but they're not getting it. I don't agree with redistributing the wealth- I don't care how broke I am, how much I've got to stretch to get groceries at wal mart, how bad I want whatever it is I don't really need- I will work for it thank you very much.

The government will get to know how many people live here, that no others are illegally hiding out, and that its rented (why not?). Thats ALL feds.

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