Monday, March 8, 2010

Oh The Glamor

- An Oscars Review

Oh was it ever a night of... well who am I kidding, I've seen better Oscar years. Non-the-less I watched it (from my DVR, but we'll get to that later) and found a few enjoyable parts. First, my fashion thoughts.

I'm not reviewing guys. Everyone looks like they're in matching Penguin Suits and other than noticing Robert Downey Jrs bow tie, everyone looked the SAME (yawn).

Ladies:

Miley:
Pretty! I DESPISE her so its a big deal for me to admit she looked soft and age appropriate. Although I question what on Earth she was doing there, her gown didn't have the prom feel and the the top of the gown added some style and a little age.

Amanda Seyfried/ Sayfrid/ Sayfred:
(Whatever) My LOVE from Mama Mia did wrong tonight. I love the pale thing, as a bleach white blonde myself I respect the pale ok? But wearing a dress as white as you? No Bueno. Thumbs down.

Zoe Saldana/ Saldanna .... something. (Avatar Chick!)
Love it! I think shes a little too thin, and the top of her gown, although beautiful, highlighted the fact she had no ta tas and made her look ever smaller. But FINALLY someone with some sparkle! Come on HOLLYWOOD- lets get the glamor back please! Oh the color, the ombre (yeah look at me and style knowledge!) the poofy colorful things at the bottom- I don't think the dress was a mash-up, I think everything belnded into something that screamed style and MOVIE STAR. Good for her.

Penelope Cruz:
Bored with it. Seen it. Nice color though.

Anna Kendrick:
PERFECT. (although- needs more sparkle) She glowed- pale skin with a COLOR on it, the beautiful blush pink, cut of the fabric- everything made a statement and I hope she has a great career ahead of her. I just want to point out, if anyone watches Twilight like I do- you will recall the motorcycle scene in New Moon. Kendrick STOLE the show from douty Kristen Stweart. I would argue that every scene where she and Kristen were together, she OWNED it. Shes amazing. Keep up the fashionable work!

Kristen Stewart:
Eh. Alright, she didn't wear converses so that was a big deal. She wore a dark color and an ever darker look on her face for having the daunting task of showing up somewhere wearing more than a dirty t shirt, and having to speak 3 lines with the B E A U T I F U L Taylor Lautner. Although she has looked worse, I thought the dress was plain and her personality, which, although it's not like I know her or anything, looked just as unappealing.

Sarah Jessica Parker:
Oh hate on Perez (www.perezhilton.com) but that Chanel dress divine. It had DRAMA, it screamed S T A R, it was from Chanel so- bow down and SHUT IT. Although I couldn't place my finger on the color and I'm not positive that I loved it, what she was getting across with that gown definitely spoke volumes. Fantastic!

Elizabeth Banks:
You had to have looked quick to find her, but when she presented for some obscure digital editing award she blew me way. Not only is she funny and seems like that type of person that if you met them in person, they would be really funny and you'd want to be their friend. It was this steely gray color and there was this beautiful headband in her hair that added this great sparkle. I think she should have gotten more red carpet attention

Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air)
It was that fushia gown with the huge ruffle snaking around her body. I'm going to give it to her; although I wanted more blush on her cheeks, the lip stick and hair pulled up made sure that attention was on the gown and she worked to not be 'too busy'. She took a risk, wore a bold color, and I have to say I don't hate it. Its taken me a few looks to figure it out, but she brought in the drama that has really been lacking on the carpet and the edgy-ness really fit her personality (that I saw from her interviews. I love pretending that I know these people lol)

Why was Demi moore here? Am I the only one who is just unimpressed by her?
Probably. But whatever. As far as I'm concerned at that age you gain weight dammit, stop looking better than my 22 year old arse! Honestly? Its just frustrating.

J Lo:
Finally, a shot out to someone who dressed for their body. She has lovely curves, and said 'to hell with it' and highlighted them! Good for you and don't change thing!

Favorite Parts:
*Ben Stiller dressed as a Navi from Avatar. His tail went out of control. He had fantastic awkward pauses and showed ehy he will ALWAYS be superior to Sandler. Boo Yeah.

*Neil Patrick Harris: He's just a big ball of talent and I would watch him make a sandwich.

*The paranormal clip with Martin and Baldwin: Fantastic. I love comedians who will go the distance for a laugh. I respect that so much as I long to be that kind of funny.

*Kristen and Taylor presenting-shes. Shes just so terrible. 'Well thats her personality' Yeah but come ON. She could at least try. The creepy cough? The inability to EVER smile. Just... ugh. May I just voice for a moment how angry it makes me that people get all the fame, money, and opportunities in the world and just seem pissed about it. I would really give just about anything to act, to sing or dance, or possess a talent that makes others smile, to have the chance to entertain the masses, just ugh. Ugh Ugh Ugh...

*The sound editing clip with Morgan Freeman. 'Yeah yeah. Its me. I'm in the audience as a nominee and narrating this clip. Amazing. You'd think I get a night to relax. Anyway." He really is the best of the best.

*I saw back fat on Cameron diaz! Ha! Take that. Also more basis for my argument against strapless gowns. They just don't do anything for 86% of the population.

* I really wish Clooney looked more happy to be there. He just looked pissed all night.

*Of course the show ran long and I can't watch things with out them having been DVRed first so- I didn't get to see the best picture win,since my DVR can't seen to adapt and actually record the program and not what happens to be on in the time slot (grrrr) and I am happy about Hurt Locker; I'm AMAZED Hollywood would recognize something Iraq war oriented and hope it brings the attention to our troops that they deserve.

*Over all complaint- what was up with the creepy, poorly timed, and awkward crowd shots? It did nothing for the overall feel of the show. It just showed how annoyed everyone was to be there which made me ask 'why am I watching this?'

Ok America! Here is your Official Review of all things significant about the 2010 Academy Awards. Hope you enjoyed it!

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