Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Super GIANT Fail

I'm of course talking about BP.

Like any normal person with access to television, internet, newspaper, Morris code receiving device, or smoke signals, I'm really saddened and genuinely horrified by the images coming out due to the spill. Maybe its the shocking reach of the oil, the ominous glow of its sheen, that too hard to watch live feed of the crude bursting from the earth like a slit artery, fish suffocating, or those heartbreaking shots of birds not understanding whats happening to them and struggling to move.

No, I know what it is.

Its this. (<- click that)

This isn't the first time I have seen stories of clean up crews acting shady. These women who LOVE their state were offering WATER. Not carrying hidden cameras, not shooting off rapid fire questions at the workers, for Gods sake they were wearing cute tank tops.

I've got a real deep and though provoking question here; why can't clean up crews accept water?

BP is 'contracted with someone'? Like Tiger Woods and Nike and god help him if he wears addidas type contract? Is that rational?

It's at this point where I have to step back from my love of big business and kindly ask BP What the fcuk are you doing? Honestly?

You want a little 'business' advice from someone with an entire semester of basic economics under their belt? Alrighty-

1- have some asshat up at corporate print out a LOT of waivers. Yes, similar to ones you sign at fairs when you want to go on the huge and very unsafe looking ride. Let people who want to clean up oil sign their life away and let them GO TO IT. You're no longer liable and you've suddenly got free help. Win Win.

2- Since you suddenly own the coast and we're going to regulate (which I guess I get) who gets to help clean up, just coordinate with the HUNDREDS of bird sanctuaries and the like in these regions and insist that those who want to clean up, sign the waiver (back to step 1 if you already forgot) and get some learnin on how to deal with oil and animals.

3- Concerned about $$? Considering the government already took 20 billion and their going to go after so much you literally start hemorrhaging it, take it upon yourself to just start handing out that money. My suggestion would be to the sanctuaries since 1- their going to be so inundated with animals that over capacity will become a laughable phrase and 2- at this point PR is going to be significant not to big BP, but to those who just happen to use the BP name on their gas station. Although I appreciate a good protest, my fellow Americans, double check (or just actually check) to see if that BP you want to stand in front of with a shitty cardboard sign is actually an arm of Satan (read: big oil), or someones livelihood. This way, with BP just throwing money into the animals/ environment and that 20 mil in escrow you've covered your bases on the PR side.

4- Ask those morons protesting local business owners to instead take up the 'good fight' on the actual battle lines and sign up (check out step 1 if you're not following) and go to a few hours worth of oil education (#2) and get out there and help clean up and save animals/ tourism/ the ecosystem.

Although I don't doubt that my '4 Steps to Success!" are slightly idealistic, honestly, isn't the smartest solution the easiest one? Raise your hand if you want to volunteer? Good. Now raise your hand if you have the time, or will make the time to help the clean up efforts- excellent. Now, raise your hand if you can't believe BP is investing money into radio commercials that tell us to keep buying their product instead of telling people the name and website of their local bird or wildlife sanctuary and how they can help. Everyone? Huh...

EVERYONE needs to do something to help the Gulf. Since BP makes it hard, whether its out buying lots of Dawn soap or making a donation to the sanctuaries I've mentioned a dozen times (just google your zip code and 'bird sanctuaries' folks) do something.

No, really. If you're motivated enough to join an anti BP facebook group then I'm asking you donate 5 dollars to, I don't know, the Audubon Society or moate marine.

Here is another useful link

Stay informed, make a point to frequent unaffected beaches, and do something.