Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I found something to complain about!

I mean I wasn't at a loss for anything, I just had a hard time choosing! (Today was really interesting...)

Anyway. I worked really hard trying to create the right header for The Diet Log Blog and after an hour on photo shop, my efforts were squashed by a lack of html understanding and a problem with this weird Artisteer program.

So, in an effort to flaunt my mad skillz I present to you the would be header if the blog formatting worked out the way it was supposed to!


See? I rock!

Really?

So you might have noticed my blog looks disgustingly generic. Trust me I'm well aware. The program I use to edit with, Artisteer, is just REFUSING to sync with this website and I've been left either using pre-made template's or looking at a white background. Since I find the lovely country road more pleasing than a glaring white background, you're getting the country road.

I was going to post about my irrational fears of being 'watched' in the gym today but instead I'm going to dick around and try to get a better understanding of HTML. (damn you Florida's public education system and lack of web design for moron's based classes!)

**nope, now its dots. And Im still pissed.

***Fail again. Its friggin purple...

Stupid Food Idea of the Day

Today I had smokers on the mind. Not of the meat cooking variety, but the kind you find somehow being allowed more breaks than non-smoking employees all because they have ‘cravings’. I have regular cravings for tacos and wine (not at the same time of course) but you don’t see me getting a pass from management to come and go as much as I please to the non existent taco stand in the lobby or the bar across the street.

But unfairness in the world of paid breaks isn’t what prompted my thought; it’s that a lot of women smokers use smoking as meal replacement. Instead of grabbing a snack they grab a cigarette and proudly march downstairs to inhale away their hunger. My SFID was to take that mentality and apply it to coffee!

By 10:48 am I’m on cup number 3 and my stomach and mood are both unhappy. I don’t think I need a therapist to tell me my eating has been a way to have something to do while at work. I can hear the questions now; “why don’t you just bring healthy snacks?” and “why aren’t you more productive at work then?”. Well, the Publix Greenwise charges damn near 5 dollars for a head of Ice burg Lettuce yet the office coffee is free. It was either take the 85 dollars for food and get the dog heart worm medication or me something that isn’t chocolate. The dog seemed more important so I went with her. ‘Well Miss Thang, why don’t you be like the rest of middle America and take yourself down a few pegs and check out the Wal Mart?” To that I answer- “BECAUSE!” Besides, if you haven’t been in a Publix Greenwise I think its kind of like seeing a unicorn for the first time; beautiful and hypnotizing. (or so I would assume. The only unicorn I’ve seen is from that ‘Charlie’ you-tube video and he had his kidney stolen by other unicorns and that was just depressing because unicorns aren’t supposed to sell organs on the black market.)

The other reason I think the ‘coffee for food idea’ is going to make me commit a random act of violence is that I’m using my lunch breaks to work out in an attempt to jump start my exercise routine. This morning I’ve had a quarter of a banana, a handful (or 3) of granola, a mini Luna Bar and 3 cups of coffee. If my body doesn’t give up during my first work out in weeks then I deserve a medal (or a trip to Two dollar Taco Tuesday). I have a healthy lunch for after I work out, Im not that sick, but its getting through the workout that Im really interested in.

As it turns out, the workout wasn’t that bad. The tiny Y downtown is quiet, empty, and complete with the best locker room ever and 4 fantastic tv’s. I don’t love the elliptical’s but they get the job done. It takes about 4 minutes to clock out, get through the building, down the elevators, across the parking garage and down the stairs into the gym. I’ve got changing down to a science, the only problem is being hourly my lunch is a really strict hour and I am either cutting my workout short, showering and walking around with a wet head or covering myself a thick layer of lotion, body spray and deodorant when I come back in and hope everyone rather smell that than BO.

I didn’t look disgusting, had a shorter day, and have high hopes for better fitting pants in my near future. By 3:21 I still hadn’t had that 4th cup of coffee and I proudly held off the hungry with my diet coke. I just kept telling myself that any coffee that’s sat for this long needs to be given to the sink, not humans, so opt for the tooth rotting soda.

Tonight goals include not eating my body weight in something terrible like cheese or Oreo’s and buying rice cakes so I don’t have to continue today’s Stupid Food Idea (of the Day). I mean, I see tomorrow having an equally stupid ideas, but I think I’m retiring the coffee experiment…

The Diet Log Blog

Generally Speaking was all about documenting unemployment and ventures into higher education. Since I found full time work and joined the ranks of the underemployed (putting school on hold for, you know, when I can afford it or have the motivation to succeed at it) I haven’t had a lot to write about. Now, don’t get me wrong, having spent 7 months literally begging employers to even LOOK at my resume, I have a healthy appreciation for the job I have. My company is big; I work with a very close friend, and have amazing managers. I mean no offense to my title or fellow workers who do the same but an untrained, slower than average monkey could do our job. Its frustrating, boring, and sometimes down right unsettling to feel this stuck in an unfulfilling job. Understanding what little effort goes into dozens of form letters aside, I could stand to earn a few more bucks an hour, if not get on salary.

As it stands, these days it seems like I’m always one more bill away from living under an overpass and luxuries are damn near nonexistent. One of the most loved things to go by the way-side was my personal trainer Lewis. In a way, Lewis was a blessing and a curse; the blessing was that I literally have never looked as good in my LIFE as I did over the summer; the curse is that I am totally and utterly unable to workout without him. I promised myself countless times that after the pageant I wouldn’t puff up like an inflating hot-air balloon, but here we are. I knew what a bitch it was to lose that weight but did my stomach listen? Absolutely not. Did I show any real maturity or self control when it came time to eat things like double pasta or baked potatoes the size of my foot? Not remotely. Although I’ve enjoyed every bit of eating and drinking, I don’t enjoy exploding out of the pants that can’t be let out or replaced with a new pair because of said monetary concerns.

It might seem unoriginal as Miss Jen Lancaster did pretty much the same thing in her hysterical best seller “Such a Pretty Fat” (you should buy and read everything she writes because she makes Carlin look like a hack) but I’m going to attempt to document my trails in weight loss while not being able to afford healthy food and a personal trainer all while lacking the ability to ‘just say no’ to beer during Monday night football.

-Here’s to no longer fearing my pants are going to rip while bending over to file!