Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Stupid Food Idea of the Day

Today I had smokers on the mind. Not of the meat cooking variety, but the kind you find somehow being allowed more breaks than non-smoking employees all because they have ‘cravings’. I have regular cravings for tacos and wine (not at the same time of course) but you don’t see me getting a pass from management to come and go as much as I please to the non existent taco stand in the lobby or the bar across the street.

But unfairness in the world of paid breaks isn’t what prompted my thought; it’s that a lot of women smokers use smoking as meal replacement. Instead of grabbing a snack they grab a cigarette and proudly march downstairs to inhale away their hunger. My SFID was to take that mentality and apply it to coffee!

By 10:48 am I’m on cup number 3 and my stomach and mood are both unhappy. I don’t think I need a therapist to tell me my eating has been a way to have something to do while at work. I can hear the questions now; “why don’t you just bring healthy snacks?” and “why aren’t you more productive at work then?”. Well, the Publix Greenwise charges damn near 5 dollars for a head of Ice burg Lettuce yet the office coffee is free. It was either take the 85 dollars for food and get the dog heart worm medication or me something that isn’t chocolate. The dog seemed more important so I went with her. ‘Well Miss Thang, why don’t you be like the rest of middle America and take yourself down a few pegs and check out the Wal Mart?” To that I answer- “BECAUSE!” Besides, if you haven’t been in a Publix Greenwise I think its kind of like seeing a unicorn for the first time; beautiful and hypnotizing. (or so I would assume. The only unicorn I’ve seen is from that ‘Charlie’ you-tube video and he had his kidney stolen by other unicorns and that was just depressing because unicorns aren’t supposed to sell organs on the black market.)

The other reason I think the ‘coffee for food idea’ is going to make me commit a random act of violence is that I’m using my lunch breaks to work out in an attempt to jump start my exercise routine. This morning I’ve had a quarter of a banana, a handful (or 3) of granola, a mini Luna Bar and 3 cups of coffee. If my body doesn’t give up during my first work out in weeks then I deserve a medal (or a trip to Two dollar Taco Tuesday). I have a healthy lunch for after I work out, Im not that sick, but its getting through the workout that Im really interested in.

As it turns out, the workout wasn’t that bad. The tiny Y downtown is quiet, empty, and complete with the best locker room ever and 4 fantastic tv’s. I don’t love the elliptical’s but they get the job done. It takes about 4 minutes to clock out, get through the building, down the elevators, across the parking garage and down the stairs into the gym. I’ve got changing down to a science, the only problem is being hourly my lunch is a really strict hour and I am either cutting my workout short, showering and walking around with a wet head or covering myself a thick layer of lotion, body spray and deodorant when I come back in and hope everyone rather smell that than BO.

I didn’t look disgusting, had a shorter day, and have high hopes for better fitting pants in my near future. By 3:21 I still hadn’t had that 4th cup of coffee and I proudly held off the hungry with my diet coke. I just kept telling myself that any coffee that’s sat for this long needs to be given to the sink, not humans, so opt for the tooth rotting soda.

Tonight goals include not eating my body weight in something terrible like cheese or Oreo’s and buying rice cakes so I don’t have to continue today’s Stupid Food Idea (of the Day). I mean, I see tomorrow having an equally stupid ideas, but I think I’m retiring the coffee experiment…

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