Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Thats Not Much of a Log

I've got a lot of ground to cover here so sit tight, grab a wine (Barefoot's the name of this game bitches. I roll big) and absorb my bloggy goodness.

Lets start with 'Dieting'. 'Dieting' is best done when you are working for something. A Pageant. Wedding. Wet T Shirt contest. You know, generally something when you want to look better than 'meh'. As is stands, Im just dieting because (boo hoo) Im no longer a size 2. Its hard. Its football season. It (was) rays baseball time. And my new obstacle, of course, is the beautiful weather that begs for lots and lots of cocktails outside for happy hour.

I work out 5 days a week. 2 days are spent with weights, the rest, well, Im TRYING to run. Let me tell you about my body and running. Something hurts, throbs, breaks, cracks, snaps and generally feels TERRIBLE every time I set out on my 3.2 mile trek. I've got more than enough stamina- but when the debilitating, crippling, searing (are you getting the point?) pain in my -insert random limb here- starts I am forced to stop and stretch/ clutch/ rub/ cry. As a method of cardio running is doing less than SQUAT for me. In terms of something challenging to break up the, I'll call it monotony, its an excellent activity to do mid day. Ill take my pat on the back for actually running the entire k (5k? I dont know- 3.2 miles) last night. Ill also take the new stabby pain in my ankle. Apparently I dont have a choice....

Over all its just eating better. The office has cake day, random cookies, random brownies, left over attorney food (attorneys, as it would seem, only eat carbs!) and random health providers we work with catering food for us in hopes that we continue pushing our clients into their clinics. If my lack of self control didn't break the scale- the evil food in the office will. Yeah I'll admit to sneaking a donut but I wont go out and get a bagel later. I make an effort to drink less beer (unless the office is having a happy hour, in which case its a free for all because hey, its not my money) but lets be honest, wine sucks for you too. I think Im taking myself off the 'diet'. I've just got myself to a point where I'm eating better and leaving the bad food for a really good weekend or special occasion- and when it happens I make sure to throw in a Saturday jog. Yay for better habits.

On to something really worth bitching about- my hair. Lest we forget, I've looked like this since birth:
Ta Da

Anywho. I got really bored with my look after Miss Florida so I went out and dyed my hair brown. I liked it! It was fun after the initial shock of not recognizing myself in the mirror for the first few days. A few showers later I noticed it lightened up, but after a particular beach trip, well, just look... 

This is a small chronological order- you can clearly see a difference.

So. When I look in the mirror, what I see is a head of very confused hair. "Am I brown? Dirty Blonde? Red maybe?" This is my hairs daily internal conflict. Have you ever gotten a hair cut that didn't really go like you wanted, but then once it grew out a little it was actually worse than the cut? That weird "in between" stage? Yeah thats whats happening here. I fully planned on heading back blonde once spring came BUT for the winter, for the first time in my life I wanted to go darker! Now Im torn between the general consensus of making a 180 and going back blonde as soon as I can afford it or sticking to my (darker) guns and getting a re-dye.

*Side Note: Im watching "Whats Eating You?" on E! and I've seen a commercial for this brownie pan about 86 times so far. On this particular episode, an Anorexic woman who's "afraid" of fats. Something feels wrong about selling ad time for a brownie pan when clearly the show is about eating disorders*

Also- to everyone that said "NO!!!!!!!" to me about going red, I think Im ready to agree with you. In some lights my in between hair has a serious red twinge and it might be because the particular light in which is looks red is crappy office florescent light but what Im seeing? Im not a-lovin.

Aside from hair confusion, being irritated at my pants (that whole waist line/ tight in the ass thing) the only other thing that makes me want to get a Brazilian just to take my mind off of it is my face. Yes, I said face. I neglected to blog about my 'experience' of getting my wisdom teeth out. Short story long, the bottom right tooth had its roots all snarled around the nerve. It was bad. Hey! It was so bad a really experienced oral surgeon said "Uh naw, Im not touching that."

So I meander on to my family's dentist who, for lack of a better phrase, got a total hard on at the prospect of such a mangled mouth. Both dentists mentioned some 'numbness being a possibility'; where oral surgeon said it WOULD HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT AND I'LL PROBABLY NEED TO DO 2 SURGERIES JUST BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO RISK YOU HAVING A TOTALLY NUMB JAW, family dentist said "Eh. Maybe. I'd say out of the thousands (he said thousands) of these Ive done I have had 5 people get numb and none of them were permanent." Since one had me scared shitless AND getting TWO mouth surgeries, the confidence of my family dentist won me over.

Now I'l spare you a lot of details here but let me put it to you this way: I wont go as far as saying I 100% felt my dentist shatter a tooth in my jaw and cut out small pieces of jaw bone and instruct the assistant to 'hold her legs' but I will tell you I consulted the Med Mal department at my office to see if I had a case. That numbness? Surprise! It happened. I got my teeth out around August 20th and I'd say last week I FINALLY started to feel an occasional tingle. Huzzah.

The real problem wasn't that I had a half of my chin, half of my bottom lip, gums and respective teeth totally without feeling, the problem was and is my messiness. Normally when you (or me) gets food on your face, you feel it! Guess what happens when you have zero sensation in your face and mouth? You have to have someone monitor you like a messy infant so you don't embarrass yourself. Whoopsy. For now I'm happy for the chance to redeem myself to society for all of the dinners where I sat with something on my face like a moron.

The new problem (theres always a problem) is that while its GOOD the nerve is repairing its self, the sensations I get in my face from time to time are BAD. Tingle isn't just it. At times its SUPER sensitive to hot, cold, make up brush, toothbrush, and chewing. So while I should just shut up and get excited that I no longer risk chomping off a chunk of my face, Im instead bothered by the "pins and needle" feeling that refuses to leave my face. 

But hey, now I can eat risotto without a chaperone!

1 comment:

  1. Megan you are beautiful and look fantastic as a blonde. Great blog. All the best.