Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I just learned...

That Im fat!

Hot damn surprise surprise. Anyways, in between drinking glasses of lard and grazing in my pasture (I'm a cow- get it?) I came across this little ditty:

*yes I see it is from a website called The one from the CDC website looks identical but didn't upload as well. This is a height/ weight chart for all adults, disability not withstanding.

 Lets see- 5'8" and healthy is 146. Well looks like I owe myself a high 5 because Im perfectly in between low and target! Turns out this statement is false: " I noticed in Flickr pictures that Megan looks SOOO different! Definitely gained a lot of weight and totally changed her hair. She looks like an old lady. I'll safely assume she's not coming back this year! (NT) "

Well, false in that 'gained a lot of weight' is total GARBAGE. I did 'totally change my hair' though. Me looking like an old lady? Well, hell I don't know what to say to that. I don't exactly get IDed every time I order a beer glass of lard but I'd still like to argue that I don't look older than 25. But dear poster (no name included- make you wonder doesn't it?) alas, my fat ass will once again grace the stage and wipe the floor with yours. -Just like last year.

This? Oh, this is me answering the on stage question, for the Top 5.

Anywho, let this serve as a PSA kids; regardless of what the media and anonymous strangers on message boards tell you, a protruding rib cage is NOT beautiful and does NOT determine ones success in life. Live healthy and dammit- be happy with YOU! You are damn beautiful, smart, accomplished AND can put down a basket of chicken wings; you my friend? ROCK. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.